Hello Don,
as I know you can read and set the Positions of the CommandBar.
You need to iterate over the Explorers CommandBars and get the Position and size of the Standard ToolBar - and yours.
Then reduze the size of the Default ToolBar by the width of yours and move it to Top.
Sue Mosher has written a sample how to save the position of a ToolBar.
This should get you started...
http://www.outlookcode.com/vsto/toolb...
The Color - I'm not sure if this is possible, because all ToolBars are created and refreshed dynamically. The Backcolor comes from the selected Theme. But - Maybe you can change it using the Windows API. However - you can use a ImageButton/Icon that Identifies your ToolBar.
Hope this helps,
greets - Helmut